Dogs and Women
Why dogs are better than Women
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a
Dogs don't expect a call when you are running
late and the later you are the more
excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs don't care if you give their offspring
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Dogs appreciate excessive body hair.
ANYONE can get a good looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs don't shop.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of stuff on the
A dog's disposition stays the same all month.
Dogs don't need to examine the relationship.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than
dogs are to be hunted.
When a dog gets old and starts to snap
incessantly at you you can shoot it
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
Dogs don't care if your belly hangs over your
Dogs don't buy Kenny G. albums.
No dog ever put on a hundred pounds after
Dogs don't criticize.
Dogs agree that one must raise one's voice to
get a point across.
Dogs don't expect gifts.
It's legal to keep a dog chained at your house
Dogs don't worry about germs.
Dogs don't want to know about every other
dog you've had.
Dogs do their snooping outside rather than in
your wallet, sock drawer, desk.
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their
Dogs would rather have leftovers than lobster.
You never have to wait for a dog, they are
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or
Dogs don't borrow shirts.
Dogs never want foot rubs.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when you are drunk.
Dogs can't talk.
Dogs aren't catty.
A dog seldom outlives you.
When you and a dog separate the dog wants no
How Dogs and Women are alike
Both look stupid in hats.
Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one
Both tend to have hip problems.
Neither understands football.
Both look good in a fur coat.
Both are good at pretending that they are
listening to every word you speak.
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Both constantly want back rubs.
Neither can balance a check book.
You can never tell what either is thinking.
Both put too much value on kissing.
How Women are better than Dogs
It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations
with a woman.
Women look good in sweaters.
Women leave the room to fart.
Last modified November 23, 2001
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